


Absolution

by dana_norram



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: A little bit of blood, Bittersweet is not really a word you know, But not sad either, Canon Compliant, Friendship/Love, It's okay to write in 2nd person, M/M, Not exactly a happy fic, There's sex in this, not much but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-01
Updated: 2010-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-26 05:14:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dana_norram/pseuds/dana_norram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because, yes. Sometimes, you didn't understand each other. But sometimes, you did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Everything (except for the porn) belongs to Marvel and Disney.  
>  **Warnings:** Hm, sex between an ex-priest fuzzy blue demon and a not that fuzzy (but still) moody Canadian man?  
>  **Notes:** This is a comicverse fic and it takes place directly after _Wolverine #6_ (3rd series): [So, This Priest Walks Into A Bar...](http://wolverine.x-knights.com/wolverinev2_006.html), though the idea really came from [this](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v242/dananorram/wolverine6cover.jpg) particular picture. Yep, I have a dirty mind. Sue me?  
>  **Thanks to:** _You-Know-Who_ for the wonderful beta. All mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

  
It's not like that, and you know it. You didn't even really think about it that way. Not until he asked if you wanted to go to his place. It's late, it's raining, he said without looking at you. Not that he was shy or anything like that. Just that he knew, as you knew that those were just excuses. For both of you. You've stayed up this late before and though the rain and the cold might be annoying as hell, it didn't make a good excuse either. But he knows that you would just hit the road right away if he didn't ask. He probably also knew what you would answer anyway and he had the reply ready for that, too.

Please, Logan, he said.

He didn't tell you he missed you, as you're sure he did. Because you missed him too, though obviously not in the same way. You weren't built the same, you and him. But he knew when to let you go. And that time wasn't the time to. You drove three days just to meet him. To tell him what you couldn't bring yourself to say to anybody else. And not because no one else could understand what you're going through, but because you just didn't want to tell anybody else but Kurt. It's not that even _he_ could understand you. In some ways, he couldn't. Sometimes, he didn't. But you knew he would try anyway.

So you handed him your helmet. It's not like you needed it and that way he could keep his real appearance as he sat behind you. Then you said, mostly out of habit than anything else, hold tight, Elf, and he held you tightly in his arms. You felt his muscles shaking under the rain, you felt his fingers clenched in your jacket and you felt warm inside despite the cold. Despite Lucy's death. Despite the twenty-seven men you've killed. You felt warm because he was there for you. It didn't matter you let that girl die and that you killed all those men. It didn't matter that you smelled like someone who just drove three days straight across country. He held you into his arms and put his chin over your shoulder and said let's go.

During the ride you thought about saying that you could barely breath with his tight grip around your chest. Could even joke about it, something like do you mind, Elf? But you didn't, because you appreciated the gesture. He didn't have to meet you, to drink with you, listen to you and take you home. He didn't need to be your friend when you knew most of the time you aren't the easiest person to be friends with. You're somehow glad that he's taking your breath away, because that meant he cared enough to hold a twenty-seven men murderer tight under New York's cold rain.

You let him get the both of you inside the building once you parked your bike. You listened him talk softly to you as he took off his coat, telling you he had some clothes you could borrow somewhere and that you could use a shower and asking if you remembered the way to the bath-

He stopped talking as soon as you grabbed him by his shirt, pressed him into the closest wall and kissed him hard and deeply. It wasn't the first time, and though you'd promised yourself that you wouldn't do it again you weren't regretting it. Especially as Kurt wasn't fighting you as the way he did, that first time. Maybe he was a little bit drunk, or maybe he's just feeling pity for you. It didn't matter, really. Some things you just have to take as they're handed to you. And his mouth was warm and wet and tasted like beer, so you drank of it for what should be for a few long, blessing minutes before he gently pushed you away with a tiny smile and a quiet Logan, please.

You took a deep breath and nodded, feeling like you should apologize. But you didn't, because you weren't sorry. And Kurt knew it, too. He kept that tiny smile on his lips as he stepped in the bathroom to give you a towel, said he would be back as soon he could find you some clothes. You nodded, again, and when he walked out instead of just teleporting away, you felt almost happy.

The water was nothing like the rain, but it felt strangely cold without the Elf's arms around you. You washed yourself as quickly as possible and found a change of clothes hanging on the doorknob once you'd finished. As you brushed your teeth you heard noises coming from the kitchen, plates and silverware, the beep of the microwave and the smell of food.

There was nothing special waiting for you when you left the bathroom. Just a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of beer. Your jacket was left hanging on the back of a chair, but Kurt wasn't around. You could smell him on the clothes he'd lent you but he wasn't there. You wondered if you'd finally scared him off for good, and regret the kiss now a little bit, because no kiss was worth losing your best friend. Still, he made you dinner and gave you clothes. A place to stay, for awhile. You knew he would be back, eventually. At least you hoped so.

You'd just finished the last sandwich when you'd finally sensed him again. Kurt had teleported up to the roof. You heard the hum of the elevator running and then the door being unlocked behind you. He smelled like rain, but when he entered the kitchen a minute later you could see he wasn't nearly as wet as you thought he would be. He stood in front of you naked and despite the cold bottle of beer resting on the table next to your arm, you felt warm all over again. You thought about asking what hell that was all about, but you knew that would be a really, _really_ stupid question.

Because the answer was simple. Simple as it was at The Box and as it was standing in the rain. You needed him as much as he needed you. Because, yes. Sometimes, you didn't understand each other. But sometimes, you did.

Kurt felt icy cold under your fingers as you touched his face and he was shivering a little, but you both knew that wasn't from the wind or the rain. But it wasn't fear, either. You didn't know what it really was but it's okay, he said, as you came one step closer. You kissed him again, slowly this time. He didn't taste like beer anymore, he tasted like... Kurt. And you liked that so much better. You thrust in his mouth with your tongue, you hold him on his place as you ran your hands all over his body, feeling the muscles beneath soft fur and skin. You felt his tail lashing around as if he had no control of it. He put his arms around your neck and tilted his head aside just a little, giving you more room.

This time he was kissing you back and that was all you needed. To know that he wanted it too. You're already hard against your jeans and as you shifted your body you felt that he was hard, too. Your surprise made you break the kiss to look at him but his eyes were closed, his breath catching against your cheek. And you knew that beneath all that fur he had to be flushed. You understand because you could feel the same flush on your face. You nudged the tip of his nose with yours and he opened his eyes. Yellow, bright, trusting. You only realize you just smiled at him when he smiled back at you. And you knew that was a yes, Logan.

That wouldn't be the first time and you knew that too. You both also knew that you wouldn't talk about it, once it was over, like you didn't talk the last time. And it's okay, he repeated to you as you laid on top of him on the bed, not remembering exactly how you two had ended up there in the first place. Not that it mattered. What mattered then was that Kurt didn't take his eyes away from you as you stripped off those clothes that smelled like him and opened your mouth as you thought about asking aloud, just to be sure.

And before you could he whispered come here, and you kissed him again and again. Rough, harsh, rushed kisses. You sucked his neck and right behind his ear. You didn't realized what you were doing, you just did what you felt right and Kurt reacted, choking back a moan as your cock brushed against his. He grabbed your hair hard and pulled you in for another kiss, longer this time. Maybe because he wanted to silence himself. Maybe because he knew that you couldn't last very much longer and it was _you_ he wanted to silence.

Once that kiss ended you stopped and looked right at him, and this time his eyes were wide open. There was no secret meaning behind that bright yellow. No questions, and definitely no answers. Just a mutual understanding.

You felt his tail wrapping around your chest. The arrow-shaped tip brushed quickly against a nipple and this time you closed your eyes, trying not to rub your body against his, because you needed more and you're damn well sure he needed more of you too. You opened your eyes to make eye contact again and held his cock, making him gasp and the grip of his tail became instantly tighter. As if he wanted you to feel it too, to feel how you just had taken his breath away. You didn't loosen your grip though, stroking him hard, making him sink his head into the pillow, staring up at the ceiling like he's praying for some kind of mercy. You almost laughed at the thought, but Kurt was too far gone to notice.

With a hard squeeze of his tail he came all over your fingers and his stomach, one of his hands gripping the bedpost, the other shoved against his mouth to stop him from crying aloud. It had been ages since you've saw him like that. Completely silent, his chest rising up and down only trying to breath and breath and being so, so okay with that.

You laid your body down, feeling his tail loosening, and kissed him in the cheek to make him open his eyes and meet yours. The two of you kissed with your mouths closed, but only for a second, then he opened it, biting your lower lip hard. You let out a small groan as the cut closed almost instantly, but you tasted your blood anyway as you licked the remains from his lips. You used your fingers, warm and wet with his come, to prepare him as you kissed him again to smooth the sounds escaping Kurt's mouth as one, then two fingers found its way inside his body. You didn't tell him to relax, you didn't tell him anything. You just lift one of his legs a little higher as you forced yourself inside him.

Just for a moment you thought you had closed your eyes again. You hadn't. You were busy watching Kurt coming undone, his relaxed face turning into something else entirely. His mouth now slightly open, like he used to do when you'd tell him something that made him half-scared, half-impressed. Once again you felt his tail wrapping around you, but this time he caught you by your waist and you slowed down immediately, thinking you could be hurting him. But he shook his head and squeezed your waist, pulling you down until you're fully inside him. You took a deep breath, grabbing his leg a little bit higher and found yourself a better angle to start to fuck him harder. Harder, then faster.

He hadn't touched himself once, but soon you found him hard again against you and you let out a breath you didn't even realized you're holding back, feeling strangely relieved. Because from the beginning it wasn't just about you. You needed a friend, yes. But so did he.

Then you heard a strangled noise and a few seconds later, you heard it again. You smiled to yourself because you knew you're doing something right. Looking into Kurt's eyes you spread his legs further apart and thrust inside him hard and repeatedly. He stopped trying to contain his moans and had started to gasp breathlessly at each one of your thrusts. He smiled at you, briefly, delirious even, before he came again with a short and deep moan. You felt him clenching impossibly tight around you, his tail dragging you hard and deep inside him and before you even realize it you're also so, so finished, your body heavy and pulsing over his.

You felt the urge to turn aside and simply pass out. You felt the pain for killing twenty-seven men, you felt the weariness for driving three days straight. You felt the powerless for letting a seventeen old girl die under your watch. But more than that, you felt relieved that you weren't alone as all those feelings overtook you at once. Another person would called it gratitude and you knew that that was one of these moments when people, in the heat of it, choose to blurt out an I love you.

But it's not like that. You knew it. You both knew it. You loved each other, yes, but it was not like that. You're there for each other. Because maybe he didn't get your rages, your need to be alone most of the time, and maybe you couldn't understand his devotion to a divine being that allowed him to live in a world that hated him so badly. Still, it was okay. Because at some point, just before you fell asleep, you felt his arms holding you in place. You heard him whisper I got you.  


**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted at my [Live Journal](http://dana-norram.livejournal.com/42921.html). English isn't my native language, so any constructive criticism is very much appreciated. ;-)


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